bingung sungguh aku skrg tau..bingung mengikut kehendak org2 yg aku btl2 syg..ntahla..hanya Allah sj yg tau apa yg tersirat dlm dri aku skrg nie..
Aku tersepit antara kemahuan n kehendak dri aku sendri..n oso between my Papa n my Abah..hahaha..erm..,its ol about my dcision 2 stay n work here in Sabah..i luv here. whut i want is to work n stay here..til when?i even dun knuw but s 4 now, i thnk i didn't ready yet to adapt a new environment..(means kt kl laa kn..)..but my Abah ask me 2 work ther..reason??ya la..dkt dgn dorang..for years, aku dh brjauhan dgn dorang n now dorang hrp aku blh tggl dgn dorang..aku tau dorang rindukn aku..aku pn mcm tue gak..but how bout my wants?lgpn aku rasa aku blh capai cita2 aku dcnie..mmg la org kata kt sana peluang lbh byk n updated dr dcnie but aku x fkr smua tue. sbb peluang sentiasa ada d mana2..cuma dr kta jer mcmana nk grab da opp n use it rite..huhh..,aku konfius tul la skrg nie..sumtymes aku rasa mcm nk lupakn jer kemahuan aku n ikt jer ckp parents aku but klu aku buat cm tue, aku dh lukakn ati my Papa plak..he realy wants me 2 stay here..same s whut i want..damn, i'm crying now!! huhuhuuu..it's hard when i've 2 hurt 1 of their feelings..i realy dun knuw whut 2 do..i luv both of them..i understand whut they want n da reason they ask me 2 do so..but sumtymes i'm thnkin'..., do they understand me n whut i realy want in my life????
3 comments:
ooo pasal ni ka ko sedih ni pisang? cian...xpa sabar k...u know, kadang2 dlm hidup ni kta tpksa jaga hati org & lupakan kemahuan kita..but for once in ur lifetime, think about urself instead of other people..mcm aku ni I'm done putting myself behind other people's needs& wants.now it's my turn to do it my way..what i want..cos i only have 1 life..so i should not waste it kan? think wisely..think deeply..what u really want actually? follow ur heart.let the people u love know what u want. if they really love u, they'll understand. ;)
thanx..ntah la yan..kdg2 aku rasa mcm aku ni selfish bla aku cuba utk ikt kemahuan aku sendri..aku x sanggup nk lukakn ati dorang..bla aku buat jg,aku rasa brslh sgt..mcm yg aku buat skrg nie la..actually, parents aku x bg aku blk cnie..dorang nk aku stay sana. but dat tyme,aku asyik fkrkn kemahuan aku jak.jad aku ttp jg blk cnie..but bla dh lama mcm nie,aku asyik terigtkn dorang. tba2 aku rasa bersalh sbb x dgr ckp dorang..aku rasa aku pntgkn dri..xda org mo jaga dorang d sana..tba2 aku rasa aku mcm sanggup tinggalkn parents aku d sana yg skrg ni pn slalu skt2..,hanya demi kepentingan aku n kebahagiaaan aku..aku x pkr lnsg psl kebahagiaan dorang..trs terang la aku ckp,skrg nie perasaan aku mmg x tentu sbb asyik terigtkn bnda2 nie...
x pa la..byk lg yg aku mo bgtau ko.tap x sesuei d cnie..nnt kta pg jogs aku story lg k...neway,thnx so much k..realy appreciate it! ko la shbt aku dunia akhirat..insya Allah.........
andu ba..cian ko kan..aku paham tu perasaan ko..lgpun family comes 1st kan..emm..payah ni..mo ikut kemahuan sndiri tp kita ni ada family jg mo jaga hati n perasaan dorg kan..xpa..byk masa lg..ko pikirla bagus2 k..hihi nnt kta cita dgn lebi detail masa jogging nnt aa.ahaha..ko pun kwn aku dunia akhirat..;)
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